


Sponsored by Oreos tm

by Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Gay Sex, Incest, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot, Porn Without Plot, Smut, glen dies, owowowowo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 13:45:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9074512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti/pseuds/Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti
Summary: ge ge wo ai ni





	1. Chapter 1

It was a casual morning in the Shimada dynasty. Genji got up and did taichi to the kitchen then ate some kellogg's frosted flakes. Suddenly he dropped the cereal bowl and it all broke.  
“AI YAHHH” Genji screams and starts walking backwards down the hallway.

 

-Hears sht  
Out of nowhere, an ear splitting scream emitted through the nation of Japan. It continued as Genji sneaked towards the sound, suspicious. What could’ve caused such a loud noise? Mao Zedong wouldn’t approve. Using his ninja skills, he ran into the room where he assumed the noise came from.  
-hanzo screaming bc he didnt get his coffee  
The sound did not stop and became ever louder. It was in fact Hanzo Shimada.  
“Go to the fucking coffee”  
(クソのコーヒーに行く)  
He screamed in japanese.

-”Daddy i have a riddle for you”  
“Hm”  
“It’s very crispy, and makes a crunching sound”  
“Is it a wafer?”  
“Yes”  
“And it has two hearts”  
“Two hearts?”  
“They’re fillings, chocolate a vanilla.”  
“Its a double cream oreo wafer”  
“Random chinese stuff”

 

Genji does not obey, as he was distractd by the commercial that was currently playing on their flatscreen TV. It showed a little girl, and her dad, bonding together. ‘What a beautiful sight,’ Genji sighed, ignoring Hanzo’s insults at him.  
-”Daddy i have a riddle for you”  
“Hm”  
“It’s very crispy, and makes a crunching sound”

“Amazing…” Genji whispered in a daze. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Is it a wafer?”  
“Yes”

“Beautiful…”

“And it has two hearts”  
“Two hearts?”  
“They’re fillings, chocolate a vanilla.”  
“Its a double cream oreo wafer”

At this point, Genji was on the floor, sobbing. Awkwardly, Hanzo trudged over, poking at him with a stick.  
“Genji..?”  
“Ge ge,,,,wo ai ni,,,”  
“We ye ai ni di di”  
“Wo men dou ai mao zedong”  
“Wo zi dao,,,,”  
“Shen zai women yao chi fan”  
“Wo ai fan”  
“Fan hen hao chi”  
“Fei chan hao!! Super!!”  
“Wa”  
“Gen Ji ni zhi doa who ai sheme?  
”  
“Fan!!!!”  
“Dweh”  
“Wa, wo mei zhi dao!!”  
“Ni tai hao le”  
“Wo zi dao!!”  
“Wo men jie huen ba”

Sponsored by [this ](http://previews.123rf.com/images/flashon/flashon1201/flashon120100027/12069451-Chinese-Elderly-Woman-Performing-Tai-Chi-with-Red-Fan-Isolated-on-White-Background-Stock-Photo.jpg)and [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAg8QC1UQRQ)


	2. Afterwards...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji Shimada mada

It was a quiet afternoon, Genji was meditating on a rock.It was a completely average day, and he had very little planned for the week. He enjoyed the calmness of nothing. It was relaxing to be able to finally be at peace with himself. After the near death experience in his homeland, the cyborg struggled with his emotions at first, but he has now finally accepted himself and his new form. After all that, he was almost glad it happened. His new form, despite being difficult to get used to, wasn’t all that bad. Enhanced agility was a useful tool to him, and he never took it for granted. He was a new man and had big dreams, to see the world and bring peace among others. 

He paused, opening his eyes. Perhaps he should write to Angela. She was the one who saved his laifu and shall be his waifu 4 laifu. He was grateful for technology and Zenyatta. He hadn’t seen Mercy in a while and it worried him. He had forgiven his brother for the 1st degree attempted knuckle shuffle towards himself. Genji had told his brother to get a life before leaving him be. He was calm now.

He decided to write to Mercy.

 

He takes a fine feather from his feather box, which was on the table. He held it in his hand, looking at it for a good second. He suddenly heard a noise behind him and got Vietnamese war flashbacks and threw his feather towards the direction of the noise. The fine feather from the feather box on his table which was once in Genji’s hand pierced through Zenyatta’s hand. 

“Forgive and forget, but we must learn lessons from our past, your duty now is to embrace the basement and get rid of its sins”

“Master!” 

“Do not worry, my pupil. Tis but a scratch!” he says as he turns around, revealing the 90 scars on his arms and legs. 

“I used to be a pirate of the great Northern Black Sea!” He bellowed in a pirate accent.  
“Rrr it was a nasty place, took a stabbin’ here n’ there but I gobbled thru the bastards!”  
“Then I reckoned I should see my wife again, took on the might wave’s back to my homeland. She was a harsh one i tell ya! Nearly drowned!”  
“I left me ship and took on a new life!I got a prosthetic body! Oh good ol’ Jonny boy, fixed me up real good! 

He stared in shock  
“What the fuck you were a pirate?!?!”  
Zenyhatta stopped bastling about his past and looked at Genji.  
“Do you know, the pirate song?”  
“Um..”  
**“Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me**  
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot  
Drink up me 'arties, yo ho  
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot  
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho

 **Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me**  
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack-” 

Genji was in shock. His master was a pirate? All kinds of emotions hit him. Genji found himself unable to move, the nice sounds of birds chirping turn into icejjfish’s song:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq_d8VSM0nw

He felt his heart beat faster and faster, his brain slowing down and his vision blurr. He tried to scream but his throat hurted. Zenyatta was still singing the pirate song, dancing and jumping with a mug of beer in his hand.

Genji passed out since he had a seizure.

“Genji! Genji!”

Genji woke up, he was in a medical bed.

“Genji!”

Genji looked around the room, he knew that voice- that sweet sweet voice that had saved his life before.

Finally his eyes laid on a robotic pirate on the ceiling.

“RRR GENJI! I AM RETURNING TO MY OLD LIFE! I’M GOING TO FIND ME WIFE MARY!”

He screamed. He screamed and screamed until he passed out again.

Genji woke up in another bed. The room was dimly lit and was made of wood. He heard water running and footsteps.

“GENJI RRR ARE YOU AWAKE! IV DECIDED TO TAKE YOU WITH ME ON MY ADVENTURES RRR”  
“WELCOME ABOARD TO ME SHIP, SHE’S NAME IS MARY!”

Genji was still light headed and couldn’t process the information. 

“MERCY? HAVE MERCY, a random tied up carrot screamed.

“NEVER! YE OLD SKUNK!” yelled Zenyatta  
“YE TOOK ME GOLD!” Zenyatta chopped up the carrot and some of it.

It was quiet after. Awkwardly quiet. Zenyatta went to Genji, still slowly dying on the bed, and gave him a piece of the carrot.

“Her ye go lad, we don’t have much so eat up ye scrub!”

Genji slowly sat up from his bed, arms wrapped around his legs and began sobbing.

“I WANNA GO HOME!!!!” he screeched.

The ship hit a roadbump and genji passed out again.

“Hey wake up.”

Genji slowly opened his eyes, expecting to see Zenyatta the pirate, but instead, it was Hanzo.

“H-Hanzo?” He mumbled. 

“It’s me, Otouto,” Hanzo whispered, leaning in close and cupping Genji’s face. Genji stiffened, eyebrows furrowing. 

“Usotsuke!” (youre lying!)

“Honto….honto desu….” (it’s real….dis shit is real…)

Genji looked up, raising an arm to wipe away his non existent tears.

“Sou ka...naruhodo….” (I see… I understand now.)

Just before they began to initiate their brotherly hug, they heard a loud screaming from above.

“ARRRRGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” A robotic pirate swang from a rope and kicked Hanzo away from Genji.

“TIS ME PUPIL YOUR HUGGIN! BACK OFF YE CLONKER!” Zenyhatta positioned himself on he ground with his sword and eyepatch.

Hanzo got up from the smashed vases he smacked into.  
“That’s my brother! Who are you? B-”

“It’s highh noonnnn”

“DUCK!”

“Me?” Duck appeared. 

“I’m here for Genji” Duck demanded.

The two men and duck (*puts hand on chest* moment of silence for Kenny everybody) surrounded genji as he did the chris pratt with his arms to the thing with the dinos.

“Just, everyone go away I’m leaving, I need to go back home!” Genji whispered loudly.

He slowly walked backwards, eyeing the three men frozen in place.  
Genji walked back into a room behind him, and shoved the door closed and locked it.

Genji found a pair of ruby slippers behind a house and wore them, clasping his hands together.

“Je veux retuenr chez moi! Je veux retourner chez moi! Je veux retouner chez moi!”

 

Ding dong the witch is dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo is ok guys  
> they did the porn afterwards


End file.
